HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TEACHER?
by Jeff Foxworthy
*You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
* You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
* You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms. Cathcart!" and know you have been spotted.
* You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
* You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
* You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
* You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
* You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
* You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
* You believe chocolate is a food group.
* You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
* You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
* You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
* You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
* You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
* You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
* You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the choice he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
* You have a secret relationship with alcohol.
* You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
* You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
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